Mike's in the closet.

Well, it seems as though someone is in denial. The new Mike's Hard Lemoade commericals are promoting the brand and their new drink-- the Mike-arita. The worst. The ads show girls trying out to be the spokesperon that are breast size z and wearing very little clothing. The ads try to be hip and tries to be witty-you know let's have sasquash try out, won't that be funny. This is a horrible ad and let me tell you why.

One. Mike. You're gay. You are trying to hard to be straight. As my good friend Willie says in the cover song "Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other" : "Well, a cowboy may brag about things that he does with his women,
But the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer." Give it up Mike. Don't try to advertise to younger guys. They don't like you because you are gay. I know it's sad they can't accept you the way you are, but that's how society is these days. Stick with the women and gays. Nothing bad about the gays here, just that they are the ones are most likely to drink "Mike-aritas". More power to them (or in British, fair play to the gays).

Second. When you try to be witty, you suck at being witty. The ads are obviously written by some washed-up copywriter (or younger dude that thought it up while high) that is trying to relive his past by writing these edgy ads. Get over the fact that you are old and stop making me watch these ads.

Third. The ad shows older and younger mexicans dancing in the street enjoying their libations. No way in hell you got a mexican- who grew up in the best tequila producing country in the world- to drink whatever mix a malt liquor company came up with that supposedly tastes like tequila.

Craptacular.